Words Fail...

...to really describe what I would love to portray to you all. God has been working some incredible things in my life recently. Well, I suppose He always has been, but maybe I'm finally letting Him do what He wanted to do all along. We humans are quite blockheaded.

Hmm. I guess this is an interesting place for a confessional. But, confession is good for the soul. I have to confess, that often I struggle with finding validation in other people and other things, accomplishments, etc. What a losing battle that is! For so long, I have fought with feelings of failure and not measuring up to God's requirements. It is kind of tricky how it works and how the enemy has tried (and far too often succeeded) to steal my joy. Just these small little thoughts (that seemingly come out of nowhere...) that try and direct my thoughts towards tangles of doubt, fear, failure, guilt, and God knows what else. What a tiring business this is! Anything to derail my thought processes and place them on a course away from the peaceful mind that we are called to have as Christians. And the fear... the fear of moving in complete abandon towards Christ - of running wildly to Him with every ounce of energy I posess. I understand more than even how much we have to "gird up our minds" and force every though to be obedient to Christ. Oh what amazing grace we have in Him! And the joy of sins forgiven! To actually understand and understand in full what it is that He has done for us... to not be satisfied with the shallow repetition of "God is good, all the time", but to have our beings so flooded with the knowledge of the goodness of God, that we cannot help but live our lives in an explosion of praise to Him. Do I understand what it means to have my sins forgiven? I think I am beginning to understand. I certainly know it to be true. But there is often a large gap between head knowledge and heart knowledge. The depth of our faith perhaps. But praise God for the victory we have in Christ and for His Spirit that keeps on prompting us to press on, driving us to Christ. Forgetting what is behind and straining for what is ahead. Running the race to win the prize. May I live like that. I fall short of heeding these exhortations, all too regularly.

I have been reading some excellent books recently, thanks to the Lord's prompting, and the encouragement of some very godly and passionate brothers and sisters in Christ. The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence is an excellent little book. John Piper also has some incredible books - Desiring God, Let the Nations Be Glad. All these books are focusing in on similar truths. I think God is trying to speak to me. Ok. I know He has been speaking to me. Principally about this: that pursuing God and His glory, and delighting in Him with every ounce of our beings, and letting the full power and knowledge of His grace in Christ Jesus fill us to overflowing (and I think grace is made to overflow), and being so captivated, completely satisfied, and consumed by the beauty and majesty of Jesus and who He is... that these things are what God has intended for us. Walking in true relationship with Him. Wow. My words don't even come close to even beginning to describe the glory of God. In seeing His glory, we can't help but feel and know the wretchedness of ourselves, and that will draw us even more to Himself. He has so loved us little worms and adopted us as His children through Christ. The things of this world become as nothing when God's glory is shining. Some people use the silly expression "too heavenly minded, no earthly good". I think that we maximize our effectiveness as humans (instruments to bring glory to God) by being completely consumed by God. We can love better (and more) when our hearts are full of love for God. Thinking of all this and reading the scriptures, I realize how far I have been from the passionate pursuit of Christ that He wants me to have.

May all you who are reading this consider what kind of live that Christ is calling us to. May we who are followers of Jesus truly pursue Him with everything we are and have as He has called us. May we follow Him in such a way that people who do not know Him will be inevitably drawn to His fragrance and love. May we live lives of reckless abandon for Him, lives that make Him smile and dance for joy, lives that will one day receive the "Well done, good and faithful servant." May we live well. May we be good and faithful through Him who is Good and Faithful. Blessings to you all my friends. Never tire of the pursuit.